Treatment Number 4

First things first.  The tumor has continued to shrink!  So, for those keeping score at home, it initially measured 5cm X 6cm and is now 2cm.  Why only one dimension?  Because that's the best he could do as it is becoming harder for him to find.  These are all of the things we want to hear.
Amanda has started her fourth round of treatments.  While I could make a laundry list of the ravages that these chemicals do to the body, there is really no point other than to demonstrate another reason of why this disease suckity-suck-suck-sucks.  I will point out one that is never really covered in the movies, and that is fatigue.  The oncologist warned early on that all of the symptoms would be cumulative as the treatments go on.  Fatigue, he said, would continue to get worse most noticeably.  For example, after the first treatment involving chemo, there was a day when Amanda was climbing the stairs at her office.  As long as I have known her, she has been a climb-the-stairs person.  However, on this day she hit a wall.  Not the type of wall we all hit when, say, we are exercising and stop the elliptical after an hour, because we just can't do another minute.  This was a complete physical shut down.  Her body was now in a war with gravity, and it was not putting up much of a fight.  She had to abandon the stairs with only one flight left to go, and take the elevator to her floor.  That was after the first chemo treatment.  So, you can imagine what a typical day is like for her now.
As a husband, this, plus all of the other side effects are so frustrating, because there is not a damn thing that I can do about them.  For Amanda, who is a stubborn and strong-willed person, they are frustrating, because, eventually, her body reaches a threshold much sooner than her mind does.  I think that all of us know the frustration of having the desire to do something, but not the physical means.  I know that I will never be able to go one round against Roy Jones, Jr., but I can get on with my day despite that.  Not being able to walk to the coffee shop with my family, however, is not something that I, personally, have ever had to face.  It is something that Amanda has to deal with all of the time now.  Every event must now be considered and scrutinized far more closely than it has been before.

1.)  Will there be a lot of walking involved?
2.)  Will there be a lot of people there, threatening the immune system?
3.)  How closely can we park?
4.)  Is there comfortable seating?
5.)  Ad infinitum...

It is a completely new world for us, and adapting to it has been tough, to say the least.  However, in the long run, all of these things are the toll to be paid for destroying this horrible disease.
One walk around the infusion center is all it takes to see that we are among the lucky.  Patients in varying stages of their own battles bring both inspiration and perspective.  Each and everyone of them has a story of his\her own, and each of those stories is full of every bit of heartache and revelation as Amanda's story has been.  To see so many people rage against the dying of the light can make things like having no WiFi seem a little less life threatening.
If any of you are wondering what you can do to help, there are a lot of people who are going through this all alone.  There are places that can use volunteers to help support those who have no other support.  (http://cancersupportindy.org/, http://www.youngsurvival.org/about/staff,   I would encourage each of you to consider giving a little time to these places or even check in with local infusion centers to see how you can help support those in need.  Some centers allow volunteers to sit with patients and read to them or just have a conversation while been treated.  There are a lot of people who could use a smile or two.  Think about it.  Okay?
If you are not a member of the Facebook page, and would like to be, request a group add at https://www.facebook.com/groups/275956439194637/.  This is a private group, so if you have a problem getting to it, shoot me an email at, droahrig@gmail.com.
 Once again, thank you to all of you for the continued support.  Amanda has truly drawn strength from every card, email, package and Facebook post.  Thank you to all of you, from all of our family.

2015 and All will be Well

The holidays are over and we are into a new year.  New Year's Eve passed quietly, but with some family hijinks.  Amanda made it until 9:00pm, so we had an early countdown, swigged some sparkling grape juice, then tucked her in.  Yeats and I watched a horrible 80s horror film and rang in the new year at midnight making fun of Ryan Seacrest.  It has become a bit of a tradition for us.
Through all of this, I have and will continue to write\talk\call-from-the-mountain-tops about my amazement at the resiliency of Amanda as she fights through this; however, I wanted to take this opportunity to mention the other person in our lives who amazes me just as much.  Yeats has handled this entire ordeal with a profound maturity for a 16 year old.  While he was definitely distracted in the first few weeks after Amanda's diagnosis, he has since gotten back to focusing on his studies and still making sure that he is a part of this process on a daily basis.  Don't get me wrong, he is still a 16 year old with a quick wit that he might exercise a little more control over, but overall he has been an indispensible part of our team.
People have asked me several times how I am doing.  I answer everytime that I am doing well, and I mean it.  Yes, this sucks.  Yes, it dominates our lives.  However, that doesn't mean that we are letting those things keep us from getting through the day.  I am very lucky in that my two best friends are my wife and my son.  We all support each other in ways that I am sure we are not totally aware.  When Yeats and I sat in the living room on New Year's Eve and played Mystery Science Theater with a really, really awful slasher film (I can not stress how bad this film was.  "New Year's Evil," look it up.  Roz Kelly, aka, Pinky Tuscadero stars.), we were really just resting our weary heads on one anothers shoulders and taking a very deep breath.  I could not do this without him.
So, in 2015, keep your calendars flexible, because there is going to be a barn-burner of a party when Amanda is declared cancer-free.  I expect each and every one of you to be there.  BYOB, though.  I'm not a millionaire.
Our best to all of you for the coming year and our eternal gratitude for the support that each of you have given.