Phase II

The last chemo treatment is now three weeks behind us, but the effects may be with Amanda for some time to come.  However, no battle has ever been fought without some casualties, so my Amazonian Goddess will wear some battle scars.  Proof of a life worth living are the marks of a life hard-fought for.
So now comes Phase II of this process, surgery.  As previously mentioned in posts, Amanda is a candidate for lumpectomy followed by radiation therapy.  The comparative results of this action vs. mastectomy are almost identical.  In other words, no one is better than the other when it comes to medical outcome, but the former is far less invasive and should make for a quicker recovery.  Still... one more battle scar for our warrior.
Throughout this entire process Yeats and I have tried to be as supportive and empathetic as possible, but, let's face it, there are parts of this to which we will never truly be able to relate.  Having never suckled a newborn nor had the hassle of an underwire, there are limits to our understanding of what the coming surgery actually means.  Is losing part of the physicality of womanhood more than just a physical loss?  Surely, but what do I know of that?  Nothing, really.  Show me a man who thinks he does understand this, and I will show you an evangelical Christian Senator.  There is no possible way for me to understand, but that does not remove the possibility for empathy for the compromise that must be made between survival and vanity.  To some it may seem no contest, but, unless you have been there, how can you really know?
Throughout this, Amanda has maintained that there is no price too large to pay for beating this.  I am embarrassed to admit that it was only recently that I realized I took that decision for granted.  While it seems to be an easy decision to come to, that price is certainly not easy to pay.  All of us have suffered tragedies in our lives.  All of us have mourned loss.  It is very few of us, however, who face a physical loss of self in so abrupt and violent a way, and fewer still who do so voluntarily.  I think it is for that reason that the term "brave" should be used for fighters like Amanda.  It is a hackneyed reminder that bravery is not the absence of fear, but the going forward despite it.  It bears repeating here, though.
While I may not be able to fully relate to what my wife is enduring, while I may never fully understand and while I am certain that I will never be able to truly experience all that it is to be a woman, I will forever be able to admire and be proud of how she has faced it, and how I know she will face this next phase.  She is an amazing person, and I will never again take for granted how lucky I am to have her for a wife and the mother of our son.
Phase II, get ready, because you are about to have your ass kicked by a brave warrior and a hell of a woman.